Letter

Dear Cats,

I can understand the need to clean out your litter boxes and though it’s not my favorite job in the world I still do it because I love you. However, there’s a couple of issues we need to address.

Julius, don’t think I don’t know that it was you who emptied a mound of kitty litter onto the floor. I had just changed the kitty litter in the box so obviously it wasn’t a protest of some kind, you didn’t make use of the hole you dug in the box and you didn’t even use the kitty litter mountain on the floor. You just wanted to make a mess!

And Dante, I love you dearly but did you really have to use the hole Julius made to create a mind-numbing stench and then not even bother to cover it up?

The litter pan in the spare bedroom is larger, deeper, and just as clean (if not cleaner). Why do you guys have to fill up the litter pan outside my office door first? Look at all the time I spent cleaning up my office, I’d like to be able to use it without having my nose hairs singed.

I’m not asking for much, just a little consideration is all.

Your loving human.


* * * * * * * * * *


Dear Human,

We don’t care.

Give us more treats.

You don’t like our smell? We suggest using a clothespin on your nose.

And while you’re out buying clothespins, pick up some more treats.

Regards,

The Cats